Awesome Weekend! Part 2 “Ozzfest!”

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I made it to Ozzfest!  I was scared I wasn’t gonna get to go. I tried getting my mom to help me buy tickets but since Scorpions went on their farewell tour I can’t get a hold of her.  Then I heard that not many people wanted to go to the fest so tickets went on sale for $10.  I tried to get Chandra to go, but she says she won’t drive all the way to San Bernadino for some old farts.  I told her that’s a dumb reason to not go.  I then called our old friend Meg.  She has a couple of kids and a husband and lives out in Sherman Oaks.  She almost always says no and tells me all the time that she has responsibilities, but this time she sounded really tired and pissed off and said she’d go.  Only thing was I had to promise to not take any photos of her cause she doesn’t want anyone to know that she went.  (For the record, she looked pretty cool. She kept her sweater on the whole time cause it was cold, but at least her jean shorts were torn and short.) Ever since she married that Jim Hymen guy years ago, she hasn’t really been as much fun.  Especially after he got that job at ABC doing scheduling and stuff.  But I know that if you’ve partied once, you can party again.

I was right. We had the best time!  We couldn’t go out until nighttime though, cause Meg had to put her kids to sleep first.  So we missed Goatwhore and Skeleton Witch and Rob Halford.  I was really sad to miss him.  I got backstage to see him once.  I tried to sleep with him but nothing happened.  I don’t know why. He liked my tights. Anyway, when we were walking up to the show I heard Mötley Crüe.  Meg said it wasn’t them, but I know Shout at the Devil like really well.  I started to run cause I didn’t want to miss my chance to see and better yet, meet them.  My stiletto platforms made it really tough to run on the dirt. Meg kept up with me by walking. The $10 tickets had us really far back on the lawn.  We kept trying to move up but these guys kept setting trash on fire and moshing around it.  I don’t get it. They spent a whole $10 and really missed out on the bands. We then found one way that looked empty but some really big drunk guy came up and yelled, “Don’t you want to see some titties?!” He kept yelling at everyone around us, “Let’s see some titties!” I explained to him that titties only get shown to guys in bands. He looked at me real mean and swayed a bit before Meg grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the back of the lawn. I don’t know why she did that. Guys need to know these things.

By the time we got away The Crüe were done with their set. I was so sad. I was so hoping to get backstage with them. But there was no chance now. Meg made me feel better though. She reminded me that what’s important is that they still rock. Not like Axl Rose. After that, I felt way better. Then Ozzy Osbourne came out. He was so rock! Incredible. And then when he did Crazy Train with this cool 9 year old kid who rocked the guitar. It was like really cool. My mom tells me stories of when Ozzy Osbourne would come over to our place when he was sleeping with her. I guess he used to tell me werewolf stories before I’d go to bed. Mom says he was always really nice, even though he was crazy. I think that’s what makes him cool.

After the show, we hung out in the parking lot for a little bit. Some guys were grilling hot dogs and drinking beer. I had some beers, Meg had some hot dogs. It was a party. Meg drove me home and I fell asleep. What an awesome weekend!

Awesome Weekend! Part 1 “The Comedy Store and Nate”

So LACC is doing some construction, so I got to do my class on The Strip!!!! I couldn’t believe it! I found a bus that drops me off right there. I am so gonna go back after I make enough from teaching and have an extra $1.50 for the bus. Good thing is my extension course on “How To Party Correctly” has been a real hit. This week I taught my class how to get the attention of a band so you can get backstage. Pretty simple: Get to the front of the stage, get on a guy’s shoulders and take your top off. Works great. I wanted to do a demonstration since like, a lot of people don’t learn by hearing stuff. So, since I was on The Strip, I just stepped outside and met this guy Nate. He kept saying something about working at the Key Club. I got him a beer and he let me get on his shoulders. He’s not in a band or anything, but he was pretty cool. We talked bands for awhile and took some photos. I was hoping to party after but the bus stops running pretty early and Echo Park is far from The Strip. Still, had a lot of fun. Can’t wait to go back.

Nate was pretty wasted.

Paige and Nate backstage at The Comedy Store

Bathrooms are great for pictures